It blows my mind that after all this time you’ve spent on earth, nobody ever bothered to tell you that your eyes aren’t fucking brown.
They are copper against honey and sage and when they water they glow, two perfect orbs the same shade as nature after it rains.
You’re not as simple as they wanted you to be.
"you’re not as simple as they wanted you to be"
Aye guys I just finished watching Dusk Maiden of Amnesia with Aaron. Great show! I’m not too big on anime like Dev and Kiki but this one hit really close to home. Towards the end of the season it brings in DID and had one of the most accurate descriptions I have ever seen.
I am a huge horror buff so the idea of a ghost anime caught my attention and Aaron wanted to find a show for just us guys to watch. Dev picked it out.
The show hit really close to home and if you watch it and think outside the box it has a beautiful message to alters.
I give it a definite 10 and would recommend it to everyone: even if your not an anime fan.
There are some triggers in there so please be careful watching alone.
Night guys. (:
DID is not all sunshine and rainbows, not even close, but even in the heaviest rain we all enjoy a rainbow when we see one.
Thank you Jess =] I really needed that. We do try the best we can.
Kyokyo and Kiki are such hard workers I am really lucky to have them here to pick me up when I can’t lift myself. And Arora can always make me smile because I know that no matter how I am doing she will come out and have a good time with Aaron.
It is pretty I will have to upload a picture.
I hope you and the boys are well =]
Thank you so much. That really meant a lot to Conner. He is doing better now. He sat by the grave that was made and cried till he felt better. Conners really nurturing and caring so I hope he does know he did his best too.
Thank you again.
I am also so sorry to hear about your loss =[ it is really hard.
Thank you so much Karen.
I’m feeling much better today. Everyone seems to be happy as well. =3
How are you guys?
Update & Venting
I have been away mostly as of late. Kiki and Kyokyo have been who has been in control and living life, ect here lately. I don’t know why but I just don’t feel like being around. I think it is just getting past these few months.
When I go up for a long period of time be it just a week or a month; when I finally come back I always feel so frustrated. We are still living at my job (I work as a hotel front desk manager) while our new house is being built but Kiki and Aaron went out and bought bedding and stuff for the new house in my absence. They picked cherry blossom and music themed stuff. Kiki bought a very expensive bed in a bag set with cherry blossoms on it. Don’t get me wrong, the set is beautiful and all, but I just feel a bit down that I didn’t even get a say so in what the room should be decorated in. Or even the bathroom for that matter. I know that Kiki has been out and been the one working so she is entitled to spend the paycheck that she earned it however she pleases, so long that the bills are all paid, but she could’ve left a note or something to ask if everyone was okay with it first. It’s not really that big of a deal but I don’t know it sort of got me down for some odd reason. Even if it is only two days that I am gone it just seems like the whole world changes in those two days. To me, I think I forget that time still continues when I’m away.
I’ve been finding myself wishing that I could spend more time with my alters though. We cannot co-front and our co-con has been so terrible lately. I feel like we have been set into reverse and going back to the way things used to be. I guess being co-con is something that without practice will disappear with time (for my system anyway).
Aaron and I were talking about everyone’s growth the other day. He was telling me about how it is so much different now. When Aaron and I first got together in June 2007; I was still learning about my disorder as much as he was. I didn’t even know the name. I didn’t know what Kiki or any of the others were like other than reading their journals and pictures they would draw. We absolutely could not switch at will; so switching was…I don’t really know how to explain it. I know it took many years of practicing to get where we are now but I guess I feel just like we’re not progressing enough. At the same time though sometimes I don’t really want to be able to establish co-con because I want everyone to have their privacy but then I know that being co-con is the only way to stop having so much fog and black outs. -.- I’m so stuck lately.
Arora has been making great progress though! She is coming out more, I think she might even start going outside. We know that she is definitely 7-8 at the most now and she making connections with movies, ect, and finding reasons to come visit people. She also said she would hang out with someone other than Aaron, Ashley (Aaron’s sister), which is a HUGE step for her. We are all very proud of her.
Kyokyo has been making friends and strengthen his bonds with the people in his life. He even spoke to Aaron’s father (who accepts us) as himself and just had a conversation with him as himself. Aaron’s father talked to me about Kyokyo the next day; asking me if he was okay because he had lost the pup, and was just telling me what they talked about and he seemed to really enjoy spending time with Kyokyo.
It is so different not having to hide my DID from Aaron’s parents and how quickly they accepted everyone and didn’t even question it. That they are willing to get to know everyone better now that we’ve come out of the closest. Before they said that were too nervous to ask us about it; they were waiting on us to come out about it. It’s just simply amazing. My own family cannot accept me-they have said such terrible things to my alters and about me due to my DID. I am done trying for them. They are my biological parents and they only say that they “just want them gone” talking about my alters. My in-laws embraced my DID when they didn’t have too, they treat my alters with the upmost respect, and have told Aaron that it would be sad to see any of us go. Aaron & his family will always be my real family to me I believe. They have saved me on so many occasions and even kept everyone’s spirits up when we were so low. I love them all to death.
So that was some bad but also the good here lately.
Love you guys,